God’s Timing……1/28/24

Turning it over to God often involves waiting on His timing. We’re not supposed to understand God’s timing and it behooves us not to keep taking it back and trying to do it all ourselves. Try: Pray, Wait, Trust.  God has our back! His timing is not our timing, but it is perfect. Look back on some of the things God has done for you and I doubt, in retrospect, you will question His timing. Perhaps His will for you involves learning patience. While you wait on the Lord, remember His words from John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  Peace, John

I invite you to become a guest blogger.  It’s easy -> find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you, or what it means in general. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know.   Peace,  John  

Words and Actions……6/5/22

Learn to check yourself and whether you are consistent.  Learn also to be aware of others and whether they are congruent i.e. whether their words and behaviors are consistent.  Within ourselves, when this occurs, we create what we call “cognitive dissonance.”  We naturally don’t like being incongruent, so there is internal pressure to reduce the incongruence.  We do this by either changing our words or our actions.  This can be either healthier or sicker.  Try not to get caught up in others’ mixed messages.  When in doubt, I tend to trust the behavior rather than the verbiage.  Peace, John 

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Gaslighting….10/27/19

“Gaslighting is a form of abuse –  someone tries to tell you something didn’t happen when it did, or when a person tries to talk you out of something that actually happened.  They deny reality in order to make you feel crazy, or as if you made it all up.  Abusers use this tactic on their victims to escape accountability of their own actions.”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.  “Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.” ~ [definition taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline website].

Gaslighting is one form of domestic violence.

I hadn’t known the term “gaslighting” until a year or two ago when an emotionally and verbally abused client taught it to me.  I googled it and read about it.  I was surprised that other clients had shared their experiences of it with me, but not the term.  Someone attempts to alter your recollection of something that happened in an effort to get you questioning your memory and/or sanity.  If they get you spinning around in circles and confusion, they believe you’ll never be able to hold them accountable for what they said or did.  If this persists over time it can wear you down, causing you to doubt yourself and, in the extreme, to have a nervous breakdown.

If you are being physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally abused, reach out and get some help for yourself.  In Connecticut, from a safe place, you can call 211, Infoline, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.  Also, in Connecticut, if you are not in a safe place, you can text 911.  Don’t hang up and the police will locate you.

Peace, John

 

 

 

Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”