Happiness……5/21/23

Inside/Outside — now there’s a boundary for you! Inside means it’s about you. Outside means it’s about everything and everybody else. Does your happiness depend entirely upon someone else?  If so, you may be codependent. That means you irrationally believe your happiness depends on your ability to keep that other person happy. This leads you into focusing on them and changing your behavior in the futile attempt to make them happy. Reclaim your power and own the responsibility for your own happiness. Be happy and allow others to be responsible for themselves!

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Affirmation for Letting Go….. 1/15/23

I’ll break it down for you: “Today” (Now), “I embrace” (I hug and accept) “the memory of my past” (my recollections, good and bad), “and feel grateful” (and appreciate), “for all that life has given me” (myself, for who I am, everything that has happened to me and for all that I possess). “I acknowledge” (I know and accept), “that I did the best I could at the time” (that I have used all my skills and abilities), “and now I am ready to let it go” (and now I have become willing to let the past recede into the memories of my yesterdays). “I clear my future road ahead” (I ready and focus my life) “for miracles and happy surprises” (and anticipate unimaginable possibilities and the unexpected!)  Peace, John 

Now read just the parts in parentheses. Two affirmations for the price of one! Peace, John

How to leave a comment on this blog: 

First, make sure that you are on the actual blog: 

https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com  (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blog post on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this. 

Overthinking? …..1/16/22

That’s a pretty direct command, don’t you think?  Overthinking usually implies a degree of anxiety or insecurity.  You tend to overthink about all the possibilities of what could happen in the mistaken notion that if you think of everything, you’ll be ready for anything.  Overthinking usually provides you with more problems and fewer solutions.  What/who tells you when you are overthinking?  How do you know when somebody else is overthinking?  I suggest you balance out equal amounts of being aware of what you are feeling, what you are thinking and what your choices are with awareness of what you are doing.  Less chance of creating more problems, don’t you think?  Peace, John

How to leave a comment on this blog:

First, make sure that you are on the actual blog:

https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com  (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blog post on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.

Lessening Anger ……6/20/21

Or a woman either!  If you can help it, change it.  If you can’t help it, let it go.  This quote reiterates my firm belief that almost all anger is about unfulfilled expectations and the inability to accept your powerlessness over some person or situation.  If you want to lessen your anger, right-size your expectations to fit the reality and accept every thing over which you are powerless.  These ideas work if you work them!  Peace, John 

PS Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there!

Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on.  You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog.  You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line.  I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do. 

Bonus Blog: Compulsive Apologies …4/10/19

 

“Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self-worth.”

Article & quote by Madisyn Taylor

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate. 

Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice. 

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time.

The above was not an original of mine but something I found on FB written by Madisyn Taylor that I copied, without permission, to share.  You can find similar ones on FB by following DailyOM or by cutting and pasting this link into your browser: https://www.dailyom.com/

Peace, John

Building Self-Esteem 2/19/17

What a way to start improving your self-esteem!  The self-deprecation, self-loathing works against you feeling better about who you are and what you do!  How many times a day do you catch yourself being self-critical?  Full of self-put-downs?  Have you become your own worst enemy?

What would it take to befriend your self?  What do you need to hear from others to help you feel better about your self?  Can you begin to say those things to your self?  What has been stopping you?

What you “aren’t” is not of value.  Start building on the foundation of who you are.  If nothing else, tell yourself, “I have survived low self-esteem!  Now, it’s my job to improve my situation.  I am capable of it and, I am beginning now!”

Challenge the negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk.  It won’t take as long as you might think to start improving.  You are worth it!  Persist to maintain it … and, keep yourself growing!

I wish you peace in who you are, and in all that you do!      

                                                                                                         Peace, John

Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”

Dealing with Feelings 10/6/2013

“While we were still children, many of us made choices about the way we were (or weren’t) going to relate to our feelings. These early decisions may still be shaping your emotional life today.”  ~ this quote was taken from a handout I have on anger7

For many of us, those choices were not really choices – most of us follow along managing our feelings much as our parents did. What we learned we practiced and what we practiced we became. If we didn’t learn the healthy management of our feelings, they are still shaping our emotional life today, and we are probably not better than our parents were. It’s quite a shame because one can learn how to manage their feelings effectively. Many of you know that I teach Feelings 101, a 15-20 minute crash course subtitled, “Everything You Wanted and Needed To Know About Feelings, But Nobody Told You.”  If you’re struggling with feelings and you haven’t experienced Feelings 101, let me know and I’ll try to give you the crash course.  Peace, John

Is it working out? 6/9/13

“Everything will work out in the end.  If it’s not working out, it’s not the end!”   ~ as quoted at http://www.maxlucado.com  in “UpWords”  Aug 6, 2012

I think the first statement is kind of glib. While I believe everything will work out in the end, my belief is that God/Higher Power and I both have roles in making it work out. I think many people would read that first statement and think that, because everything’s gonna work out, they don’t have to do anything. Not true! I believe it’s part of our responsibility to work on things as best we can. The second statement makes a lot of sense. If it’s not working out, it may just be “working through,” and we may still have opportunities to influence the outcome. Remember, “if it’s not working out, you’re still in the middle of it!” – and therein lies the hope. Patience.