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ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) has 3 types: inattentive, hyperactive or combined. People who have this “disorder” tend to have difficulty concentrating or staying focused for an extended period of time. As the quote indicates, their brain moves along quickly from one subject to another. They often get frustrated when society expects them to be able to focus enough to learn things (like reading), remember things and solve problems. They often are attracted to video games and are challenged by the rapid changes. Certain occupations are not good for them and other occupations, ones that allow for frequent changes of focus and are more creative are better suited. I tend to think of people with ADHD not as “disordered” but as different. They have a lot to offer if we can accept their differences, respect their skills and abilities and not expect them to conform. The magic of acceptance and working with….. Abracadabra! Peace, John
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy: find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you, or what it means in general. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
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Many of us feel guilty if we say “no.” Do you think they trained, shamed or guilted it out of us when we went through the “terrible twos?” Have we become such people-persons that we don’t know how to take care of ourselves? Saying “no” helps define ourselves as separate from others. It also helps us take care of our needs and wants. When we say “no,” other people’s reactions/responses are not our responsibility. We can say no firmly without being caustic or offensive. We do not need to offer an explanation but, at times, we may. Remember, we can stay kindhearted!
I have an excellent article on when and how to say “no.” If you’re interested in receiving it, please send me an email to: jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com with the words “Saying No” in the subject line and I’ll be happy to forward you a copy of it. Use what you can and leave the rest.
Peace, John
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Self-care can be time-consuming, but it is better than the alternative. When’s the last time you did something for yourself? Most of us are consumed with doing for others, frequently neglecting to also do for ourselves. If we expect others to do for us, we are likely to end up disappointed. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we are people too. We deserve our own care and attention. We may even be accused of being selfish. I ask: “is it better to be selfish or selfless?”
You deserve from yourself the same care you offer others. This is worth your busy-ness (“business?”) and, without apology!
Peace, John
Two reminders this week: 1) turn the clocks back one hour Sat night, & 2) vote on Tuesday.
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I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his. He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God. It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.
Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide. I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it. I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients. She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart. She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track. I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”
“The power is in the One who hears it.” The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I! He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him. He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one! He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.
Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying. Your prayers are not wasted. Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”
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I discovered the above quote while looking for one about depression that wasn’t “too depressing!” What was I thinking? I guess God isn’t finished with me yet!
Truthfully though, the wisdom speaks for itself. People do not choose to become mentally ill any more than you or I choose to get physically sick. Be grateful that today, many more mental illnesses are treatable with therapies and medications than just fifty years ago. People with mental illness generally don’t know what is happening to them, tend to blame themselves, feel guilt and or shame because of their situation, and isolate. They try to “figure it out” and feel like a failure when they can’t, and even worse when they can’t discover a way out. Their disorder and frustration sometimes leads them to act out. You do not have to accept unacceptable behavior from them; managing your own feelings and choices is important.
Amidst their isolation, they need someone to care about them. Could that person be you? All you have to do is genuinely care and, if the time becomes right, offer them some options. Trying to fix them, make them do what you think they should do to get better, usually doesn’t work and, actually, makes it worse for them as they are now still struggling with their illness and pushing you and your well-intentioned “quick fixes” away.
I have seen genuine caring lay the foundation upon which change can begin. I have been privileged and grateful to be part of some of those ground-breakings and foundation-pourings.
Change the “I” to “we” by adding your self gently into the situation. How much are you able to care? Could half of that “we” be you? Which half?
TOUCHPOINTS, from Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. 