The Mask of Anger…. 11/11/17

 

I think “angry” has a lot of other feelings that it tries to protect us from. I’ve called “angry” a bogus feeling, because it’s easier to say, “I feel angry,” stop there, and not bother to look at what’s underneath it.  Frequently the feelings that it masks include: disappointment, frustration, insecurity, depression and… [you can name the ones that it masks for you!]….

What would happen if you were to feel sad?  Or any of the other feelings listed above?  Do you really have to deal with the bodyguard?  Or can you cut to the chase, dive through the anger and deal with the real feeling beneath it?

Dealing with the feelings is relatively simple.  First you need to identify what you are feeling.  Second, you need to accept those feelings as they are, not as you would have them be.  That’s where it can get tricky.  We frequently have ideas about how we should feel.  When those come in conflict with the way we do feel, we often try to change the feelings to align with how we think we should feel.  This gets us in trouble time and time again.  If we just change our thoughts to say, “I should feel whatever it is I am feeling,” the need to fix something that isn’t broken goes away.  “I should feel sad” eliminates the need for the bodyguard.  If angry is sad’s bodyguard, sad can stand for itself and be okay.  If we accept sad as part of who we are we don’t need to protect ourselves from it!  It’s easier that way for us, don’t you think?

Today please remember those active, inactive, retired, former and deceased members of our Armed Forces, and their families and loved ones, who have served to keep us free to be who we are, feel what we feel, think the way we think and to exercise the choices we have.  Keep them in your thoughts or prayers and value their service for you, your family and our country.  I thank each and every one of them for their service.  

 Peace,  John

 

Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”