Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”

Changing Others….. 11/15/2015

 

 

This sure sets our priorities right, doesn’t it? It starts out asking us to focus on ourselves and times when we have wanted to change ourselves.  For most of us, changing ourselves is a challenge.  We have our old ways, our habits, our resistances and well-entrenched patterns of thinking and dealing with our behavior.  All that resistance can make the process of changing ourselves daunting and slow.  Even though we start out with good intentions we end up learning to persist in creating the changes we seek in ourselves.  After all, the only person we can change is ourselves!

How tempting it is to try to change others – doing so takes us away from changing the only person we can, our self and shifts our focus to someone else. Understand, for them to change, they need to go through the same process that we do, i.e. finding a reason, setting a goal, breaking it down into small pieces and then, mindfulness and perseverance until the change is in effect and anchored.  Since we know the things that we struggle with, can we now understand the futility in getting others to change?

To try to change others is to try to control them.  Control may work in the short run but usually builds resentment and anger.  Definitely it doesn’t work in the long run.  Control is often a mask for insecurity.

Why not let others be and go through whatever process of change or “not change” they choose?  Why not shift our focus onto changing ourselves so that we can become better at being who we are? We are the only people we can change!  Why waste your energy trying to do the impossible, changing others?

Drops wear down the stone…… 8/5/12

“Drops wear down the stone, not by strength but by constant falling.”  Anonymous

What a quote to drive home the message of persistence.  You know, when people are making significant changes in their lives, they often start out with good intentions.  Once they start the process of change, there often comes a lot of confusion.  The new way is still pretty shaky and not very well entrenched; the old way still pulls them back to what is familiar and comfortable.  Many people try once or twice and cannot handle the chaos involved in the change process. They slip back to the old way, to the old patterns, to the old habits. What is frequent and usual is not always functional or healthy!  Those who are successful persist in the new thoughts and in the new behaviors until they become entrenched and the old ways feel alien.  This takes some time and it is helpful if the new behaviors are reinforced constantly with the new beliefs.  They don’t need to be strong; they just need to persist in the new habits, the new thoughts because they make sense and will get them to where they want to be.  The willingness to persist comes from the same soft light within.  What is it you are trying to change in your life and what do you need to persist at to get you there?