The Other Serenity Prayer……8/21/22

It says: “working on doing better.” I say: “Stop trying to be perfect. God has a monopoly on perfection and hates competition!” Work on being better than you were yesterday! Peace, John

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Expectations and Acceptance……3/27/22

“You will have fewer disappointments in your life if you learn to accept things instead of expecting things.”

I did a session with a client earlier today that focused on expectations and acceptance.  When I begin to get irritated, I have learned to ask myself, “What was I expecting?”  Obviously, whatever I was expecting was unrealistic given the reality.  Accepting reality is the starting point.  Then you can use the serenity prayer to help you figure out what, if anything, you might be able to change.  If you can’t change anything (limited to your thinking and your behavior) then you’re left with having to accept what is.  You don’t have to like something in order to accept it.  Here’s to oodles of acceptance and fewer disappointments in your life.  Peace, John

Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on.  You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog.  You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line.  I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.

Guest Blog: Being Thoughtfully Aware…7/8/20

Don’t be obsessive, BUT don’t be naive……”BE thoughtfully aware!” 

It’s fair to say, “things have changed dramatically” over the last few months!  What was once a “normal daily routine” no longer exists.  It’s a fact that changes and circumstances bring about interruptions in our daily lives, and we learn to adjust – sometimes on our own, and at times with the love, concern, and support of others (a wonderful thing!).

HOWEVER, this change/interruption is vastly different- something I’ve never experienced in my lifetime!  COVID-19 – a GLOBAL pandemic; our country, as well as others, “shut-down”, no traveling, no sports or games, no shopping except for essentials (although shelves were often empty), isolation (after 9/11 everyone came together and in both tragedies and celebrations people gathered – not now!), empty streets. The streets of NYC on TV looked so “bizarre!”  And it all happened so quickly – from stability to uncertainty in “no time at all!”

As I “surfed the internet” for information, news media, read “often conflicting” articles by scientists and doctors, received an unending stream of sharing new insights from friends, and family, I didn’t like what I was feeling!  It wasn’t so much fear (although I’m sure there had to be some underlying fear), but chaos and mass confusion!  Very unsettling!  My son and I were having a conversation about this and the chaotic events of the day; he told me of a quote that a friend would share during times of debate or discussion.  “Don’t be obsessive, BUT don’t be naïve —-BE thoughtfully aware!”

I thought about that quote and “took it apart”:

OBSESSIVE: excessive thoughts or actions; constantly thinks about; fears about contamination (in this case, contagious)

NAIVE: showing lack of wisdom, judgement, information

CONFUSION: stress, sleep deprivation, information overload, exposure to new situations

That quote helped to clarify and validate the confusion and chaos I was feeling.  In my quest for information, I was on “information overload!”  I needed to “be thoughtfully aware” which gives me a healthy balance.

“Being thoughtfully aware” has taken on an additional dimension for me since having the conversation about it with my son a month ago.  Prayer is an important part of my life; as I begin each day with meditation and prayer, I now conclude with asking God for His guidance and help in ”being thoughtfully aware” through the day.  Sometimes it comes in the form of some “self-awareness;” sometimes it’s reaching out to someone that I’ve been thinking about; sometimes it’s a conversation; and, sometimes a kind word given or received.  No more confusion and definitely a more peaceful place to be in!

As we now are going through the phases of “re-opening” our state, may we be “thoughtfully aware”

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Today’s guest blogger is the newest member of our Personal Growth Concepts Inc. office staff, Barbara. I thank her for taking the time and sharing with us on why and how to be “thoughtfully aware” during these trying times. ~ jp

I invite you to become a guest blogger.  It’s easy à find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you, or what it means in general. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know.   Peace,  John  

 

Guest Blogger: Loosing Control…..4/22/20

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Last summer, I got on a plane for the first time in 15 years.  As we began to take off, I started to feel fearful.  I had no control.  I could not control the plane or what happened to any of us on the plane.  I held on tight as we soared into the air.  And I prayed.

Recently I again found myself in a place of fear, actually panic.  This time it was due to my concerns over the Coronavirus.  I wasn’t feeling good and I started to panic.  I was short of breath and my heart and mind were racing.  I was overcome with anxiety.  Prior to this, I had been constantly reading articles, searching for the latest news, and I was absorbed with any updates on the virus.

When life seems to be spinning out of control, the temptation is to tighten our grip and try to control.  We can expend all of our emotional energy trying to control everything around us and have nothing left.  This can affect our ability to function in everyday life.  When we hold on to control, we can become controlled or paralyzed by stress, anxiety, fear, worry, and/or panic.  These can have a detrimental effect on our mental and physical health.  When we come to the place where we recognize that we can’t control everything, we can loosen our grip, open our hands and relinquish control.  In letting go and releasing control, we can experience peace.

I have a prayer journal.  I write my concerns, pray about them, and let them go, knowing that God has them.  That means trusting Him and leaving them in His capable hands. This takes an enormous amount of faith.  What is the alternative?  Living a life controlled by fear and anxiety or living in peace?  What can help you to release control over outcomes that are out of your control?  For me, I quiet my spirit through prayer, reading/meditating or listening to music.

You do have control over your actions, your thoughts and what you allow to enter your mind.  Dwelling on the negative and the “what ifs” could cause you to spiral downward. What are you filling your mind with?  What are you holding onto?  What are you trying to control?  

I am resting in God’s control. There is much more freedom here.

Today’s guest blogger is Kristin from our staff.  I thank her for sharing her thoughts with us this way and, as I told her when I previewed her post, I couldn’t have done it better if I wrote it myself!  Thank you Kristin. We look forward to reading future blogs from you.  Peace, John

    

 

Guest Blogger: Doing the Next Thing….. 3/20/19

 

In my thirties, I liked to take personal retreats at a lovely retreat center out in the countryside of northern Massachusetts.  Each retreater had her own little “hermitage” and there was a quarter of a mile walk up to the main house where meals were served and Morning/Evening Prayer services were held by the Brothers who ran the center.

I will never forget the first time I went there.  It was mid-autumn; the air was crisp and cold, scented with falling leaves.  The walk from Evening Prayer back to my cottage that night was very dark.  Luckily, the Brothers had given each of us a flashlight to light our way back to our cottages.  I had lingered a while in the library after the Evening Prayer service, so I was walking alone.  I knew the general direction of my hermitage, but I couldn’t actually see it.  I could only see as far ahead as the glow from my flashlight, so that is how I made the whole journey from the retreat center’s main building to my hermitage, one little glow at a time. 

At first I was afraid because I really couldn’t see where I was going, but after several steps I realized that I didn’t need to see the whole pathway.  I just needed to follow the beam of the flashlight, and that was just enough to take me all the way home. 

Looking back, I see now that this is a brilliant metaphor for life.  I may not be able to see my final destination on any given journey (career, health, relationships), but as long as I follow the light I am given in this moment, I can trust that I will stay on the path, arriving at the right time and place.

Anne Marie Bennett

KaleidoSoul.com (link to www.kaleidosoul.com)

Today’s guest blogger is none other than my sister, Anne Marie. She and I have facilitated several SoulCollage® weekend workshops. This year’s workshop has been postponed until 2020 as I recuperate from open-heart surgery. I thank Anne Marie for this and several other guest blogs that have yet to be scheduled. I hope you benefit from it. Please send me feedback so that I can pass it on to her. If you want to, please feel free to share it on social media with your relatives and friends.

I invite you to become a guest blogger too. Find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well.

                                         Peace, John

 

Balanced Communication……7/22/18

When’s the last time you talked to your Higher Power?  Do you share your gratitude or just your troubles?  Do you talk to her/him in good times or bad times?  or both?  Can you share any and all feelings?  Someone once told me that when you share how frustrated and angry you are, it’s the highest form of prayer.  Source will never abandon you.

Going to Spirit with requests is part of it.  Years ago, a little book entitled, Too Busy Not to Pray taught me the four parts of balanced prayer (use the acronym A-C-T-S to remember: Adoration (aligning with something bigger than myself); Confession (admitting where I have fallen short); Thanksgiving (what I am grateful for); Supplication (what I ask).

Whatever your belief, may I suggest, balanced communication?

Peace, John

In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also now follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on Twitter (@PGCCounseling)

 

 

Serenity…….5/27/18

SERENITY PRAYER – long version 

by Reinhold Niebuhr

God, grant me the

Serenity to accept the things

I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can and the

Wisdom to know the difference.

 

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardship

As the pathway to peace.

 

Taking, as He did,

This sinful world as it is

not as I would have it.

 

Trusting that He will make

all things right

If I surrender to His will.

 

That I may be reasonably happy

in this life,

And supremely happy

With Him forever in the next.

 

Guest Blogger: Thankfulness …… 4/25/18

Today we have another guest blog from my colleague here at Personal Growth Concepts, Inc, Angelina Miceli, LCSW.  Here are her words of wisdom.  Let us know what you think!  ~ John

I have a lot of interesting discussions with clients.  As we dive deep into their thoughts, feelings and beliefs, we question them often – picking apart the whys and hows.  One recent diving expedition lead to a discussion about the concept of thankfulness. What even is thankfulness?  And why bother?

Thankfulness is a mindset we can choose;  it’s not just something that hits us one day when we feel as though we “have it all,” or have “achieved our goals.”  Rather, it’s an attitude we can cultivate through reframing our focus.  Oftentimes, our focus is framed so much around asking for more, hitting our next goal or recognizing what we lack.  This leads us to forget what we have, or to forget what the purpose or meaning is of where we’re at in our present moment.

How can we cultivate the attitude of gratitude?  The answer is both simple and challenging: by radically reframing our focus.  Where we once may have asked, “what can I do better tomorrow?” we can instead ask, “what went well today?” or, “how did I get closer to my goal today?”  For those who are spiritual, where once may have been a prayer of desire or asking of God, instead, shift to a prayer of gratitude or of giving thanks for the day’s blessings, both large and small.  Thankfulness can be for something as simple as getting through another day, making it through the panic attack you had, or even just for the motivation to get out of bed that day.  And it doesn’t only have to be thanks for what you have, either!  How radical would it be to give thanks for what you don’t yet have or what you’re working toward and hopeful for?  Whether it’s recognizing the progress you’ve made toward achieving a goal, being thankful for the preparations you’re undergoing to be ready for that goal, or simply putting the reality of having that goal met out into the universe, we are capable of reframing our focus from one of looking at the void, to one of fulfillment.

Remember, it’s not necessarily happy people who are thankful, but it is the thankful people who are happy.  It’s the law of attraction that like attracts like.  If thankfulness begets happiness and happiness attracts happiness, just imagine how much that could blossom and grow in you – all from one shift in your focus.     ~ Angelina

The Perfect Phone…… 12/10/17

This quote seems to be a little dated, doesn’t it?  Some of us can remember when the telephone was hardwired to the wall.  Then the cordless ones came, and now, the last several years, everything’s been mobile.  That is how we connect with one another – even when we text, we usually do it through our phones!

 It’s been said that God doesn’t call the equipped.  He equips those he calls! God equips us with the perfect phone.  All we have to do is use it.  We need to be tuned in and aware of its ringing so that we can receive messages from God.  We need to answer.  We also need to turn to it and dial Him up frequently, not just when we are in trouble. Use it!  Anytime, anywhere, everywhere, and there’s always a full charge of love and grace waiting on the other end for each of us.

 Yes, prayer – the perfect phone! What shape is yours in today?

Peace,  John

P.S.  During this holiday season many of those you know/love or come in contact with, are struggling through their first holidays without a loved one or pet.  This is a hard time for many of them.  Please tune in to their pain and be sensitive to them during this time.  They may not be participating in holiday activities, shopping, or Christmas music may be just too much for them.  I am sure your gentle spirit, ability to listen without judging or trying to make them feel better, will be appreciated even if they are unable to express it.  On their behalf, I thank you!    Blessings,  John

Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”

A Step Poem……. 3/6/16

 

This goes out to all of our friends working a 12 step program of recovery. I thank Aggie for recently sharing it with me. There’s wisdom in those 12 pieces of advice. For instance, statistics tell us that people in recovery can not do it on their own. As a matter of fact the first word in the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous is, “We!”

 If you are unfamiliar with the 12 steps, I’m putting them at the end of this blog entry for you.

Many people don’t know this but the word “alcohol” occurs in the 12 steps only once and that is in the first step, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol –that our lives had become unmanageable.” The 12 steps are an excellent way to live life. Recovering addicts have used them to bring sanity and serenity to their lives. Which item above provides you with the most challenge today? What step can you use to meet that challenge?  

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

Prayer & Change …….. 9/27/15

MUSINGS ON THIS QUOTE FROM JOHN:

Relationship = two people and a connection.

Prayer = the connection when one of those two is God, Higher Power or however you understand God to be.

Change = the result of prayer that changes us and that we put into the world with purposeful action.

Action may involve listening: God gave us two ears and one mouth and expects us to use them proportionately! I’ve also heard it said that God gave us a mouth that closes and ears that stay open – what do you think God was thinking?

We can’t do it all but we can do our part to the best of our ability!

Mother Teresa has it right: prayer first, action second!

Remember, God and you are a pair that will beat 3-of-a-kind any day!

 

Fellow bloggers,  I hope you enjoy my blog posts.  I now invite you to share a favorite quote and a few of your thoughts about it.  Please send them in an email to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com  I will check them and share them on my blog post.  If you do so, please use the phrase “guest blogger” in the subject line.  I’m praying that I can get at least 10 responses to this request.  I know that your prayers and actions have changed you.  Will you help me in this way that I may continue to change and that God, you and I may continue to help others change as well?   Peace, John

Native American Prayer 2/15/15

Native American Prayer
 
Oh, Great Spirit
Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life to all the world,
hear me, I am small and weak,
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold
the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have
made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things
you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have
hidden in every leaf and rock.
 
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy – myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my Spirit may come to you without shame.
 
(translated by Lakota Sioux Chief Yellow Lark in 1887)
as published in Native American Prayers – by the Episcopal Church

Suppose this week, fellow bloggers, I encourage you to make comments on this post? What from it resonates with you? What’s your takeaway that will stick with you for a while? How can you incorporate something from the above prayer into your daily routine? The easiest way to comment is to be on my WordPress account and click “comment” up near the top after the tags. If you are on FB, LinkedIn or Twitter, you can click on the link that will take you to the post on WordPress or, you can just comment through the media you are on, or send me an email – I will try to collate the comments and get them out by the middle of the week on our blog.  Thank you and, please feel free to share. If you know someone who would like to receive my blog, discuss it with them, get their ok and then give me their name and email address and I will be happy to add them. Peace, John  

 

 

 

 

Guest blogger on Negative Emotions 9/16/14

And, a special blog today from one of our guest bloggers:

 “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.”  ~ Joel Osteen

I’m now trying to use prayer to get around these feelings so I can live with and myself and have control of myself instead of letting the world outside control me. I’m trying really hard not to be stressed and angry and I find it difficult on certain days. Sometimes it’s really hard. I still feel selfish when I’m asking God to help me control these things. I still feel I don’t pray. But I’m trying. Love and peace, HM

Note from John: Do not use prayer to get around feelings. Use prayer to help you accept your feelings, even the ones you would prefer not to have. Continue to focus on changing what you can about your self and let the world worry about itself. There is a scriptural basis for this, something like this: the world has enough troubles of its own. Accept your stress, disappointments and hurts as part of life. Retain your own power and be confident that these feelings are only a part of you, and not a part that you choose to place in control. Prayer is conversation with God. I suspect you pray and are doing fine at it. Persist and remember, your mind is like a parachute; it works best when it is open.  With every jump, just remember to pull your ripcord. God has packed your parachute… now you do your part!

You too can be a guest blogger.  Just find a quote you really like and write a few lines to show how it applies to you or how it can positively influence others and email it to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com. And then, be patient.  Peace,  John