Sobriety’s Gift Boxes …4/3/22

“Sobriety is a big gift box with a hundred little packages inside to unwrap.”  ~Oscar Morris

Ever get a present like that?  One big present and as you unwrap it, a bunch of little ones inside to be unwrapped along the course of your sobriety?  The big gift, freedom from the addiction begets, new and exciting discoveries along the way.  While each “big gift box” is similar, but the little packages inside are different and become unwrappable at different times during the journey.  If you have given yourself the “big gift box” of sobriety, enjoy it and keep a lookout for those little packages for you also to enjoy.  Be sure and have “the attitude of gratitude.”  If you haven’t given yourself the big gift box of sobriety yet, seriously consider and know that it’s the gift that will keep on giving.  Finally, if you do not need the “big gift box” of sobriety, be grateful and be supportive of others on their journey.  You too may benefit from some of those hundreds of little packages inside to unwrap!  Peace, John

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Guest Blogger: Loosing Control…..4/22/20

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Last summer, I got on a plane for the first time in 15 years.  As we began to take off, I started to feel fearful.  I had no control.  I could not control the plane or what happened to any of us on the plane.  I held on tight as we soared into the air.  And I prayed.

Recently I again found myself in a place of fear, actually panic.  This time it was due to my concerns over the Coronavirus.  I wasn’t feeling good and I started to panic.  I was short of breath and my heart and mind were racing.  I was overcome with anxiety.  Prior to this, I had been constantly reading articles, searching for the latest news, and I was absorbed with any updates on the virus.

When life seems to be spinning out of control, the temptation is to tighten our grip and try to control.  We can expend all of our emotional energy trying to control everything around us and have nothing left.  This can affect our ability to function in everyday life.  When we hold on to control, we can become controlled or paralyzed by stress, anxiety, fear, worry, and/or panic.  These can have a detrimental effect on our mental and physical health.  When we come to the place where we recognize that we can’t control everything, we can loosen our grip, open our hands and relinquish control.  In letting go and releasing control, we can experience peace.

I have a prayer journal.  I write my concerns, pray about them, and let them go, knowing that God has them.  That means trusting Him and leaving them in His capable hands. This takes an enormous amount of faith.  What is the alternative?  Living a life controlled by fear and anxiety or living in peace?  What can help you to release control over outcomes that are out of your control?  For me, I quiet my spirit through prayer, reading/meditating or listening to music.

You do have control over your actions, your thoughts and what you allow to enter your mind.  Dwelling on the negative and the “what ifs” could cause you to spiral downward. What are you filling your mind with?  What are you holding onto?  What are you trying to control?  

I am resting in God’s control. There is much more freedom here.

Today’s guest blogger is Kristin from our staff.  I thank her for sharing her thoughts with us this way and, as I told her when I previewed her post, I couldn’t have done it better if I wrote it myself!  Thank you Kristin. We look forward to reading future blogs from you.  Peace, John

    

 

Guest Blogger – A Vision of Love ….. 8/21/19

 

I believe strongly in letting go of negative emotions and past hurts.  In order to heal ourselves and our relationships, we need to break the chains and the cycle of negative thinking and patterns.  It takes being intentional and flushing out emotions that destroy, otherwise we may end up in a downward spiral and we may take others with us.  Holding on to bitterness and resentment can make us feel shackled, in addition to causing health problems. There is freedom in letting go. Try to live in peace with others as much as it depends on you, and be authentic. This may mean setting boundaries and letting go of others that bring you down. But, ultimately, it’s a healthier place to be. You will be healthier and your relationships will be healthier. Be a beacon of love and peace. 

 

A special thank you for today’s guest blog to Kristin P –  your thoughtfulness, wisdom and decision to share is truly appreciated.  I hope our audience enjoys this post as much as I did.  Peace,  John

 

Leading a Horse to Water…. 9/16/18

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink….

BUT,

if the water is around, he might realize how thirsty he is!” ~ John

I’ve been saying this for years.  It’s about trying to control others.  Usually we want somebody else to do something and we get frustrated trying to get them to do it.  People may do “it” for a variety of reasons but frequently they turn passive-aggressive and there’s a price to pay.  When they do what we want them to do, they don’t experience the freedom of choice to do it themselves, in their own time and in their unique way.  Simply stop trying to force them to drink!  Make sure the water is around and as you wait (patience) and see what happens, get on with your own life.  Control yourself.  Take care and nurture yourself.  When you are thirsty, drink.  You may not realize it but, as you get healthier, you are setting a good role model.  If they decide they are thirsty, then they won’t have far to look to figure out how to go about drinking.  If they are in denial about their thirstiness, then you will be well hydrated and healthy!  Stay that way.  Whether they win or lose, you win.  “Them’s good odds.”

Peace, John

 

Addiction & Freedom …… 7/3/16

“It’s all about the pain, . . . the pain, . . . the pain….”

       Addiction starts out with physical or emotional pain.  If you break your leg in a motorcycle accident or your lover rejects you, you will probably feel pain.  You should feel pain – those are painful situations!  Those prone to addiction usually have an irrational belief that says they should always feel “okay.”  Now, they have a conflict – an experience they have labeled as “not okay” and the belief that they should feel okay.  The need to resolve the conflict is high and they find that engaging in some behavior or taking some substance outside themselves into themselves will alter the feeling.  Addictive behaviors and substances guarantee a change in feelings 100% of the time, in the short run.  They don’t work in the long run; they wear off and the original pain returns.  This time accompanied by guilt (i.e. what they did didn’t work) and frustration (i.e. they don’t know what else to do!).  Instead of one source of pain there are now several and sooner, or later, the growing pain leads them back to the addictive behavior or substances for relief. Frequently people, places and things outside of themselves are blamed for causing the feelings that keep them locked in.  That’s the prison – a hellish cycle of futile attempts to avoid pain by doing more and more of what doesn’t work.

       Recovery begins by breaking the physical cycle of addiction if needed, i.e. separating the addict from the substance or behavior.  This involves surrendering that their way has not worked and will continue not to work and that there are other, better ways.  Early in recovery addicts need to be challenged and learn the new belief that whatever they are feeling is “okay.” They don’t have to like what they are feeling, but they have to give themselves permission to feel it and embrace it.  After all, they’ve learned that running away from it does not work.  Perhaps the opposite, embracing it, will work better.  In twelve-step terminology, this is part of “acceptance.”

       Surrender is about no longer expecting someone to unlock the prison.  Acceptance means taking the keys, unlocking and opening your door, leaving the “bars” behind you [pun intended!], ascending the steps [again], rejoining others and learning a different way of living in community and fellowship.

 “It’s all about the freedom, . . . the freedom, . . . the freedom….”

 Happy 4^th of July!

        Peace,

                     John 

 

How do you build successful relationships? 11/2/14

“Successful relationships are built upon the foundation of bringing committed love to the table every day, communicating your feelings, receiving your partner’s feelings and setting healthy boundaries to maintain a sense of independence within the relationship. This allows for love to be given and received, proper adjustments to be made if the line of communication gets fuzzy and still gives each of you the freedom to be yourself and bring forth your unique creative expression. This combination will manifest the strongest and healthiest relationships in your life. And remember, the purpose of relationships is to be happy, to learn and to CO-create a life together.”

 ~ Jackson Kiddard

What a simple formula? You build relationships upon a foundation, i.e. the beginning of the relationship. It’s a table of give-and-take built around sharing and hearing each other’s feelings while respecting your individual differences. This allows for the giving and taking and for changes when the communication received is not the same as that which was sent, i.e. “fuzzy.” You get to stay who you are and respect the other person’s individuality – and it’s happening in reverse too! Your goal is to be happier, to grow and to create that third entity, a “togetherness.” The togetherness is not at the expense of either individual. The togetherness adds value to each person’s individuality and creates a third entity, “us” that can also be unique, accepted, and grow.  “Co-create” – what a concept! Happy co-creating!

Today we welcome 16 new members to our blog. They are people I have known and cared about in the past and the years have seen us drift although the memories of time shared are positive and long-lasting. In cleaning up some old email addresses, I decided to add these people to my blog list. If you received this and are not interested in getting weekly positive quotes along with some of my insights, please feel free to unsubscribe yourself. If you received it and are happy to hear from me again and, if you benefit from it, please feel free to pass it on. Peace, John