Supportive quotes with a personal, genuine and caring touch
You haven’t succeeded, yet! The key word there is “yet!” The struggle is often about loosening your grip on the old ways and allowing space for new ways of thinking or being. I have an excellent handout on the struggles one must go through in order to grow. If you’d like a copy of it, send me an e-mail (jpacheco@personalgrowthconcpts.com) requesting the struggle handout. I’d be happy to send it to you. Peace, John
Several years ago I read the book on this topic. The subtitle was: “And remember it’s all small stuff!” Keep a perspective. If you need help ask yourself how important is it going to be five days from now, five weeks from now, five months from now, or five years from now? Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on. You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Your feelings will never get you in trouble! It’s best to know what you’re feeling, and to accept it as your present reality. Once you’ve done that, stop and think about what your choices are to do. Pick a healthy choice. It’s the doing or not doing (act) that can get you in trouble. Peace, John
Self-knowledge is the only thing that gets us from spinning like a top to navigating a calmer lake. Realizing that I was the problem was both freeing and complicating. It was like walking through my life in the dark when I decided and owned my part to change; it was then the teacher appeared, and I was moving toward recovery.
Wow, 2 guest blogs in 2 weeks! I can’t remember if/when that has happened before – it definitely is rare. Once again Barbara P has graced us with her wisdom of looking inward and paying attention to our self. I thank her again for her contribution and hope that sharing it is fruitful as each of you learn more about the only person we can change – ourselves! Peace, John
I’ve noted a lot of people struggling with boundaries lately. Boundaries help you define what you find acceptable and what is unacceptable. When you set a boundary, you also need to be aware of what you are prepared to do to have that boundary respected. I once had a client where we did almost a full session about boundaries, when to set them, why and how to set them. She came to the next session, plopped down in the chair and said, “You know, the hardest part about setting boundaries isn’t setting them up?” I said, “No?” She said, “No, once you set them up, then you gotta do ‘sentry duty!’” She was right – you’ve got to enforce them. If you don’t, it’s just words and you won’t be respected or taken seriously. If you can’t enforce them, repeat them. And remember, three strikes and they’re out as you wave bye-bye! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
R-U-L-E-R is an acronym developed by Mark Brackett – Director of Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. It promotes emotion regulation and can help individuals to be more equipped to handle their own emotions as well as to deal with the feelings of other people in their lives. This starts with recognizing the emotions in yourself. Sometimes using a “feelings” sheet is helpful in learning to identify your feelings. Another component of emotion regulation is to not only recognize them but also to attempt to understand the root of emotions rather than ignoring them. This means looking at the consequences of the emotions. Label the emotions accurately once you know how you are reacting to a situation. It’s helpful to assess how the feelings affect your behavior. Consider taking time to think about how to express emotions appropriately and pause to determine how to effectively regulate them. Taking the pause is often critical before reacting. With regard to your behavioral changes, try to manage emotions by learning emotional control. Choose constructive responses, prioritize emotional and relational wellness to bring about peace and calm. Using this tool as a journaling prompt can aid in exploring your emotion, tracking it, and processing it.
Today’s guest blog was provided by Kristin and offers thoughts about emotions or feelings. I, John, have a handout that lists feelings we have but often fail to identify. It could be helpful if you have trouble with what word to use after you say, “I feel….” It needs to be an adjective, a word that describes, to be a true feeling. If you would like a copy of this list to help you, send me an email (jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com) with “Feelings List” in the subject line. Thank you, Kristin for your contribution. Here’s hoping it will help many people figure out their emotions or what they are feeling. Peace, John
We use language for connection. The smile sends a message across many dimensions including culture, distance, relationships and whatever life throws at us. If you haven’t smiled yet today, I’ve included a couple of prompts below. Hopefully my language will help you change that. Be blessed! Peace, John
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy – find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
The distinction between fear and anxiety is important to know. Anxiety is about something that might or might not happen in the future. With fear, the threat is fairly immediate. The example I use, and I think I’ve shared this before, is if I tell you there’s a 500 pound hungry lion walking around your car in your driveway or the parking lot, what you will probably feel will be anxious. You’re thinking about the next time you leave and what might happen to you. If the door opens up and a 500 pound hungry lion walks into your room, you’re feeling probably will be fear; the threat is imminent. Treat the anxiety by keeping yourself in the present, what’s happening right now? Treat the fear by taking immediate constructive action, if possible. Peace, John
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If you have trouble with anger, when you begin to feel irritated, or aggravated, tell yourself that you’re feeling powerless. Most people focus on what they are angry at and, frequently express it impulsively. A healthier way is to tell yourself what you’re feeling (powerless) and that it’s OK to feel that way. I tell clients that feelings will never get you in trouble. What gets you in trouble is what you do or don’t do with them. So, identify what you’re feeling, and think about the choices you have about how to deal with it. One of the choices, not always the best, is to do nothing. Feelings are like a slow moving kaleidoscope. They change over time. Give your self some time. Slow it down. If your feelings become too much for you, consider counseling or talking to a trusted, safe friend. You don’t want them to build up. Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on. You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Are you enough? How do you know? What makes you so? Enough for what? Louise Hay certainly knows about affirmations. Her book, You Can Heal Your Life is filled with affirmations that people can use to heal their lives. One of the secrets of using affirmations is to repeat them until they become part of your psyche. You can also use them through your different senses. For instance, you can say “I am enough.” You can write it down and read it to yourself frequently. You can hum, sing or whistle it. You can record it and listen to it, also frequently. The most powerful way that I’ve come across to drive the message home is to stand in front of a mirror with your eyes open and say it out loud this way: “I am enough…… Yes, I am enough…… You are enough…… Yes, you are enough! (Repeat several times while maintaining good eye contact, smiling & changing the tone & cadence of your voice. You could also have someone who believes in you echo back the “Yes, you are enough.” And remember, you ARE good enough! Peace, John
If you are aware of other positive & helpful ways to use affirmations that are/can be helpful, let me know. If I get several of them, I’ll collect them and share them with you in a future blogpost. Also feel free to share any particular affirmation that you use that has been effective for you. Thanks
At the end of the day I’ve been known to gather up all my leftover to-dos, my problems and unresolved conflicts, and lift my arms and say, “here they are, God. Take them. You’re gonna be up all night anyway. Give me the courage to handle whatever you put on my plate when I get up in the morning.” Try it. You might like it! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on our blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blog on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
Maybe you don’t know why the toast got burn – but God does! At the time misfortune happens, we frequently don’t know why. It wasn’t what we wanted or had hoped for. Some time later, God might let us know what His reason was. Sometimes we may never find out. Trust God and trust that his plan for you is unfolding. Wait, watch it, learn and be pleasantly surprised. Peace, John
Active addicts are in a lot of emotional pain. They usually don’t have good coping skills and they have learned that substances (alcohol and/or drugs) frequently take the edge off the pain. I know that, if I feel anxious and don’t want to feel anxious, if I have a couple of drinks it takes the edge off. If I have many drinks, I don’t feel! Except…. tomorrow I wake up and I now have 3 issues. What I did didn’t resolve my anxiety and I’m still feeling anxious. Second, I now feel guilty because what I did didn’t fix the problem and, lastly, I still don’t know how to resolve the anxiety. To recover I need to learn different ways to help me manage my feelings. I will need to accept the fact that numbing (avoiding or denying) my feelings does not work in the long run. For those who have already learned how to lessen their emotional pain by not numbing, I wish you joy in your recovery. Hint: identify your feelings and accept them. You don’t have to like them to accept them! Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on. You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
In any given situation, identify those things you have no control over. Some things you may be able to influence or change; others not so much. Once you’ve identified what you were powerless over, you can rail against it, or you can make the best of and accept them. True acceptance means you stop trying to influence or change them; you free yourself to move on! Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
“Guard your tongue when your heart is bitter or broken, be still until you heal”
So often a friend, a relative, a boss, anyone will say something that really gets under your skin and you are very angry. Often times circuits from the dark side of my brain click into gear and the angry words come out too fast, too harsh and the damage is done.
Practicing the pause was a technique that had to be learned; not responding, not making any comments in regard to their statement also had to be learned. “Let’s talk about it later” gives me a chance to think over what I want to say…”Think about what I want to say, Say what I mean, But don’t say it mean!”
Today’s blog was written and shared by a decades old friend of Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. As a long-time friend of Bill’s she has much experience in “sane” living. I appreciate her willingness to share again with our readers and hope each of you glean wisdom from her thoughts that you can use to help you when you encounter conflict in your lives. Remember, practice the pause! Barbara, I thank you again. Peace, John
Somewhere between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I thought to pay tribute to Grandparents. While my profession has taught me that not all extended families are “hunky dory,” many are pretty good. Seventy-five (my present age) is considered “aging;” My wife and I definitely enjoy the rewards of knowing & spending time with our four grandchildren. I hope they enjoy our company as much as we enjoy theirs. Peace, John
Unfortunately there are a lot of toxic people in this world. Try to keep a balanced perspective; not everybody is toxic. But, when you run into them, the above advice is sound. The more you interact, the more it feeds their dysfunction. If you leave them alone, hopefully their toxicity will atrophy (waste away) or at least you won’t be as affected by them! Save your sanity and let them go! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
Trust is essential! Nothing good comes from trusting the wrong people. Here’s a little handout that tells you who not to trust. Trust the right people. Peace, John
See below
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy – find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
What do you think would happen if you started looking more frequently on the brighter side of situations? Those of us who like challenges may tend to look at the difficulties as challenges for us to straighten out. Years ago I came across this short ditty that seems appropriate here: “two men looked out from behind prison bars. One saw mud. The others saw stars!” What do you want to be looking at? Peace, John
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A little play on words there in this blog title to get you thinking! When you fail, do you give up? A wise person once told me that “winners lose more than losers.” It took me a bit to figure out that may be because they take more risks, try more often, and persist through failure. They view setbacks as lessons rather than reasons to stop. While losers avoid risk to minimize failure, winners stay in the game longer, racking up more attempts—and more losses—on the path to success. The message is: keep trying and keep learning. Be the success you strive toward. Quitters have a hard time becoming winners. Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on. You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Two things to understand about “process:” First, there are steps in a process. One step usually follows another. Second, most things “in process” take time. When you become impatient, think “process.” Try to look forward to what might be coming next. You might also look back and see how far you’ve already come. Perspective can be an important part of growing. What processes are you currently engaged in? Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on X, formerly Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
For years I’ve been fanatical about my to do lists. I’ve used at least a dozen apps or programs to list, categorize, organize and track them. At one point I became frustrated – at the end of the week I had put forth a lot of effort but it didn’t seem like I had accomplished anything. I made another list and I maintain it to this day, my “DONE” list. Now, at the end of the week I’m frequently surprised by how much I can see that I accomplished. If your To Do List is like the one above on the left, try rethinking it to be more like the one on the right. Be more realistic. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
This blog is a good follow up to last week’s. They’re both about taking care of your self. Make your self a priority. Don’t routinely put others ahead of your self. Ideally you want to be on the same level with others. On a commercial airline the flight attendant will tell you, if the air masks should drop during flight, put yours on first before assisting someone else. This is the same principle. Work on keeping your cup full, OK? Peace, John
If you are a giver, think about this: Have you trained those close to you to be takers? If so, it’s going to be difficult for either of you to change. Each of you have become set in your roles. If you decide to make a change and expect to get something back, please know that you are likely to meet resistance. They will continue to expect you to give and it will be difficult for them to understand that you might expect something from them instead. Ask them directly. Be specific! When you change, there will be resistance. Expect it! Bottom line – take care of your self. I have an excellent handout called “Flack from setting boundaries.” If you’d like a copy send me a request via e-mail. jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Peace, John
Are you a “someday….” kind of person???? “Someday I’ll …….” Why not today? Better yet, whatever it is, why not schedule it? Yes, figure out when you can do it, commit to doing it on a particular day, put it on your schedule and do not let anything prevent you from doing it. Try this formula. Too often we have too many things on our “to do” lists, we get overwhelmed, don’t know where to begin and so — nothing gets done. In these instances it’s often more important that you’ve begun, than where you began! If you really need to get “around to it,” here’s something to help you:) Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com. Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Anxiety about your journey? Doubting whether you will ever get there? I’m sure most of you have heard the quote, “The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.” If you focus on the destination or the trials along the way, you might never get started. That first step has to happen in the now. Persistence will get you there, one step at a time, each of them taken in the present moment. Start now. Be here now! Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and X, formerly Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on X, formerly Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
What an appropriate post-Valentine’s Day graphic? I hope you can forgive the language in the little green heart. I frequently ask clients about their family of origin and explore the patterns they experienced in childhood. This may be a key to some of their current difficulties. Most dysfunction is learned. People often learn to cope with the unhealthiness in ways that work for them. These ways are repeated until they become entrenched; such repetition creates habits. When they grow up and are no longer in that dysfunctional family, they keep repeating the same patterns but they are no longer healthy. These behaviors can, and do, affect the people around them. To paraphrase John Bradshaw, instead of healing their dysfunction, they pass it on, often to their children. The good news about these habits are they are learned. Because they are learned, they can be relearned! Some of us have been blessed with the ability to teach. Don’t be afraid to ask. As you relearn, your life can and does get better. Grow beyond what has been limiting you. May ye not mess up others! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog, https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blog on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you. Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. T hese are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
Over the years I’ve had several clients were diagnosed with OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. I’ve also counseled several family members affected by loved ones’ OCD. OCD is classified as an anxiety disorder characterized by either obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors or both. My clients have been on a spectrum from minimal dysfunction to pretty serious dysfunction. A couple of them needed to be hospitalized to be stabilized. Most found benefits from medication helped minimize their symptoms and allowed the therapy to be more effective. As I read over the characteristics listed in the above swatch, I have observed most of those tendencies in those I was treating. The tendency to overshare tends to be influenced by the anxiety and codependency traits. Problems with boundaries are characteristic of the disorder. The need for constant reassurance was apparent in almost all the cases I treated. OCD is treatable and those with OCD can and do live productive lives. Peace, John
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy – find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
” Every thought takes you somewhere. Choose thoughts that take you where you want to go.” ~ unknown
Thoughts race in and out all day long; all night long. The mind is powerful…. Junk in, Junk out! Pay attention to your thoughts because negative thoughts are stronger than positive … so we don’t entertain negativity….negativity is strong but you and I are much, much stronger! 💪💪💪
Barbara our guest blogger for today has a trove of wisdom gleaned from her many years of experience from her life’s journey. I truly appreciate her taking the time and sharing this with us today. I hope she will continue to share her gems with us over many months ahead. Peace, John
I once went to a workshop given by a former social work teacher I admired. I approached her at the break and was surprised that she recognized me and called me by name. She asked how I was doing. I briefly told her that my job was a drag and that I wasn’t seeing much progress with the recently incarcerated clients with whom I was working. I also told her I had started doing some volunteer work at a local nonprofit agency and was experiencing some positive results with those clients and their family members. She quietly smiled at me and said, “I see. You have one job that feeds your body and another job that feeds your soul!” That way of reframing it for me lessened my agita and paved the way for a job change six months later. I was then working with a new clientele where I was seeing success. The above quote reminded me of that story and I wanted to share it with you. Thank you, April for sharing your quiet wisdom with me. It made a difference! Peace, John
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Have you come across arrogant or egotistical people? They’re usually in it for themselves. Why are you “in it?” Did you know you can be humble and still have a healthy sense of self? In humble people there’s a balance between the focus and caring for others as well as self. Balance. Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on. You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
There is also less disappointment and less anger. I find that when I feel discombobulated, I struggle with the answer to the question, “What was I expecting?” Figuring that out lessens the feelings and helps with the letting go. I sometimes try to get ahead of it by checking and lowering my expectations in advance. I wish you peace in who you are and in all that you do! Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on X, formerly Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
I thought we’d take a quick break today and enjoy a light sense of humor. I hope you got a chuckle, or at least a smile from the above 3 quotes today. Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
Are you irritated by others? How are you at letting go? Did you know that letting go and still looking at it means you haven’t fully let go? If it’s not yours, what value is there in hanging on? I know, “easier said than done!” What’s your decision about who you choose to be today? Peace, John
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy – find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
Take a few moments to think about the second-half of that quote. There is definitely something to be said for being early, prompt and “johnny on the spot.” My son once told me not to buy a new electronic gadget when it first comes out. He explained there’s bugs in the first editions which they need to correct and improve its performance. I know, I had a first edition once and it was “buggy!” Since then I’ve waited six months to a year and gotten a better product. There’s something also to be said for being patient. Having a sense of timing is important. Are you the early bird? Are you the first mouse? Or the second one? How about the bugs? How’s your diet? Peace, John
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I have told clients grief can be like you are in the middle of the ocean treading water, barely keeping your chin above the waves. When all of a sudden a huge wave crashes upon you. The natural tendency is to thrash around and fight the wave. This does not help. You are apt to take on water and spend a lot of energy with minimal, if any, results. Instead, hold your breath. Know that the wave will soon play itself out. In the beginning of the grief process it seems like the waves are coming more intensely and more frequently. Be patient (hard to do). Over time the waves become less catastrophic and less frequent. Grief teaches and you will learn to ride the waves. Folks, the metaphor is yours to choose. Do you want to learn to swim or be a wave runner? Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do. Blessings for a Happy New Year!
Are you focusing on your trials and tribulations, your problems and your challenges? Where does that get you? Try shifting your focus to what you have and see where that gets you. What are you doing with what you have? Jimmy Durante in a song old timers may remember, encourages us, “if you’re having trouble falling asleep, to count our blessings instead of sheep!” Sound advice as you develop your “attitude of gratitude.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i12qUdUhCWo if you would like to hear it. Delete the short ad at the start. Peace John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on X, formerly Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
Jesus is the wonderful counselor. He offers comfort, an abundancy of mercy and grace for all who call upon Him. The Lord is the Almighty God in whom we can take refuge. He is the everlasting father in whom is found all wisdom and guidance. Jesus is the prince of peace, the messiah. He gives hope, strength, and compassion for all who put their faith in Him. God is love and He came down to make His love known to us.
Merry Christmas.
Think of all the things you are powerless over. The only two things you can directly control are your thoughts and your behaviors. Your behaviors include not only what you do but also what you say and how you say it. Everything else we can not control. Those things include people, places, situations and events. Those things are controlled by God, or, as some prefer, HP, Higher Power. We like to make plans and then work on making them happen. As the quote says, our plans need to be made in pencil as we need to keep aligning them with God’s plans. His are in ink; our pencils have erasers to help with realigning. Stay humble in your plans. Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
Most people hold the irrational belief that someone has to ask for forgiveness in order to be forgiven. Perhaps this comes out of a Judeo-Christian mindset. That mindset could leave them believing that what is happening to them is punishment. This implies that they had deserved to be hurt. Not true! Forgiveness can be given even if not requested. This can be a challenging concept for many. Frequently, forgiveness can be given, but the act and the hurt that it caused is not forgotten. This is okay too. It teaches us the need to protect ourselves from future hurt. Forgiveness, if given freely, helps one let go of the need to “get even.” It also frees one to move on with their life and to focus on healthier things. P lease continue to make decisions that are good for you! Peace, John
I invite you to become a guest blogger. It’s easy – find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.” I will review and publish it with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know. Peace, John
We’re usually powerless over things that have happened to us. And yet, we frequently blame ourselves. I tell clients when they catch themselves beating up on themselves, the first thing they need to do is to put down the club! While they’re not responsible for what happened to them, now that they are adults, they are responsible for how they handle it. Much of their dysfunction is from learned behavior. They worked for them back then; not so much nowadays. The good news about learned behavior is that it can be relearned and some of us can teach new, healthier behaviors. The challenge is that the new behaviors need to be practiced. Remember, practice can make better. Also, you don’t look good in black and blue! Peace, John
Folks, this time of year many people get excited about the upcoming holidays. I am asking my blog readers to be sensitive to the fact that not everybody is able to be in an upbeat mood. Some people may be struggling with depression or life challenges like financial stability, unemployment, or dysfunctional family issues. Still others may be entering their first or second holiday season since the death or serious illness or injury of a loved one. Please be sensitive to these issues and, if appropriate, curb your enthusiasm a bit. On their behalf, I thank you. Peace, John
Greetings! I just read some feedback from one of my Latino blog followers that I appreciated & thought I would share with you:
Good message, John. Respect or Respeto is one of the key elements in Latino culture…it represents self-worth and dignity. That said, disrespect is not easily tolerated. Walking away and silence…is the way to go! Thanks. Jose
Second week in a row words of wisdom from Robin Williams! None of us like disrespect but, it happens. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. We tend to look at the source and think about them. Robin encourages us to look at ourselves and gives us a choice about how to respond. Notice I said respond, not “react.” Silence and walking away do not feed the source of the disrespect. They discourage more of the same and keep me in touch with the better parts of my self. Are you willing to try this approach the next time you feel disrespected? Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Does your friend, relative, or colleague seem OK??? Please don’t assume that everybody that seems OK, is OK. Be careful of your assumptions. Be kind. You don’t lose being kind to others. Being kind is a good way to be. Others deserve it. If they are faking depression, you are treating them with respect and caring. You may help make the difference for them. Peace, John
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Go through this decision making process: Identify the issue; brainstorm alternatives; narrow them down based upon what’s important to you. Then, by all means, decide. Be sure to implement your course of action. A bit later, evaluate it and, if necessary, make changes. Which step in this process is the hardest for you?
The other day on the way back from my walk, I was nearing my home and a squirrel darted out into the road. S/he was fairly close. In getting part way into the road s/he was aware of my presence and stopped, hesitated, turned around, went a couple of steps. S/he then realized I was closer then s/he had thought and turned around and went the other way. S/he was lucky that there were no cars coming and lived another day. My advice: Decide! Don’t become roadkill! Peace, John
How to leave a comment on this blog: First, make sure that you are on our actual blog: https://personalgrowthconcepts.wordpress.com (this is important if you are viewing the Touchpoints blogpost on Facebook, LinkedIn, other locations or, if it has been forwarded to you by someone else). Above the picture and/or quote there is a title and a date. Just below that, in small print, are the categories and the tags. These are helpful if you’re using the search feature. At the end of those there are the words, “leave a comment.” Click on that and follow the directions. Once you have typed your comment and click send, I will be notified and approve the comment before it will be visible to all. Please let me know if you have any trouble with this.
I’ve been told, “When you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.” I must admit I don’t like that advice. By the time I get to the end of my rope, I haven’t got any more energy to twist and turn and tie a knot, much less hang on. I think the above quote is teaching us that all relationships matter. We never know how we treat someone can make a world of difference to them. Most people don’t usually tell us when they’re at the end of their rope or hanging by a thread. Once there they are usually focusing on other things. How we treat them, what we say and how we say it can provide the safety net they need. We may never know. That is OK. We never know when we could be hanging on by a thread our selves. “Do unto others…” Peace, John
Two points. First, if you receive no response, did you ask a question? You could ask it again. What were you expecting? Maybe it’s a sign the other person does not want to engage. Acceptance may be helpful here. Second, if you are unsure, not ready, or do not want to engage, consider not responding. You could also communicate why you’re not responding and then let it go. If you are emotionally worked up about something (angry), it may be wise, for the time being, not to respond. This may give you a chance to balance your emotionality with some rationality and, hopefully, lead to more effective communication later. Choose your responses responsibly! Peace, John
What a perfect metaphor for codependency! If you spend a lot of time focusing on another person, this may apply to you! If you do you’re not focusing on the only person that you can change, you! You actually end up losing your self. So, find your self and, eat your ice cream before it drips all over! Others’ sprinkles don’t have anything to do with you now, do they? Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
Those include secrets we don’t share with anyone else as well as those which we keep from particular people. The corollary is, if we want to get better, we have to find safe people to share them with. Sharing can be a double bladed sword: it can leave us vulnerable and involves risking, or it can help us get free. How and when and with whom we share is critical. “Safe people” are those who won’t shame, blame or guilt us and will hold our privacy confidential. They genuinely care about us, understand our need to heal and are privileged, and know it, to assist us on our journey. Tag, you’re it! Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on X, formerly Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
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TOUCHPOINTS, from Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. 