How Much To Tell……4/7/24

“You don’t need to read them chapter and verse when they only want/need the title of the book!“

There is definitely something to be said about (against?) going on and on. If the listener is not interested in what you’re saying, they may be tuning you out within a minute or two. They may try to be polite and not let you know that, and “put up” the appearance of listening. I think it’s usually best to be sensitive to the needs/wants of your listener and, in most instances, to keep your comments brief.  Lately I’ve been suggesting to some of my clients that they use the following pattern when communicating: make a short “I” statement, and then follow it with a short question one yhat ends with a question mark.  Then be silent; listen for the answer.  Rinse and repeat!😊 Remember, you’re the author and you get to title your book. Maybe it should only be a short story! Peace, John  

I invite you to become a guest blogger.  It’s easy: find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you, or what it means in general. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know.   Peace,  John  

The Rule of Fives……10/1/23

This quote is in contrast to last week’s blog that “it takes as long as it takes.” This one, what I affectionately call “the rule of fives,” asks you to keep a perspective on what’s happening. Yes, it speaks about “getting angry” but the quote applies to many other situations; following it can lessen some anxiety. Getting angry is about your unwillingness to accept your powerlessness in a particular situation. If you can’t do anything about it, why not let it go?  Peace, John

I invite you to become a guest blogger.  It’s easy: find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well. If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know.   Peace, John  

Being True to Your Self…..7/3/22

It gets complicated when we try to figure out what other people want from us.  We then contort ourselves into what we imagine – and it’s never enough, is it?  Why not keep it simple? Just be the best person you are able to be for today and try to improve your self a smidge for tomorrow.  Take off the costume and the mask, get off the stage, reconnect to yourself, use “I statements” and let others be who they choose to be.  We are powerless over others’ choices.  We can only change our selves!  Are you up for that?   Peace, John

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Toxic People……2/6/22

What is a toxic person?  The description below is not all-inclusive.  Toxic people can bring you down, are usually negative, manipulative and needy themselves.  If you allow them, they will drain you of your energy; they are prone to drama and frequently make mountains out of molehills.  They usually have difficulty managing their feelings and behaviors.  Do you know people like this?  Best way to deal with them is, not to!  Keep the focus on yourself and disallow them from dragging you into the world of their poison.  Peace, John 

Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on.  You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog.  You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line.  I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do. 

Worry…… 6/27/21

This quote brings you back to today.  Most of what we are anxious about is not likely to happen.  We create “what if” scenarios in our head and then stress about how it will be when they happen.  Those scenarios are usually negative and about some time in the future.  If we keep our focus on today we will find that most of the things we worry about are not happening today.  Most of the time, being in today, “all is well!”  Peace, John 

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to share it with your friends on social media. Encourage them to sign up.  Thank you! 

Guest Blogger: Making Room for the New…2/26/20

“YOU HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE NEW BY RIDDING YOURSELF OF THE OLD.”

It’s about letting go of the past, being in the present and looking forward to the future. We hold on to far more objects than we need, and instead of motivating us they bog us down. It is hard to discard or look at items that seem simultaneously useless and important.  They are a part of our history. They are reminders of our path to where we are now. The ones we can use are the ones to keep. Letting go of the rest frees us up to move on.

When we have too much emotional and mental energy tied to the past, it robs us of what we need now to keep our lives in the present, balanced, happy, productive.  Try letting go of a few things and see how it feels.

Carrie Lee Henderson, MSW, LCSW

Today’s guest blogger, Carrie Lee, blessed us with this wisdom before she recently retired.  Her good works carry-on. Thank you!    Peace, John

 

When to Rest….. 9/22/19

I have a SoulCollage® card that reminds me to “rest.”  Yes, I need to be reminded! Today’s blog post is a good sequel to last week’s – remembering to love your self. Rest allows you to replenish, to refill your tanks.  It’s been said “winners lose more than losers.” Losers go out and try and, if at first they don’t succeed, they try a few more times and then quit.  Winners keep trying and, when they lose, learn from their losing and persist.  Perhaps, in the persisting, they remember to rest. Creative ideas come more readily to those who rest, who shift their focus and then return to the task at hand. Remember, when tired, rest!  You deserve it.

Peace, John

 I invite you to be a guest blogger.  Find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you. Send it all to me in an email (jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com) with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well.   Peace,  John  

Knowing When….. 10/29/17

Or, as Kenny Rogers sings in his hit song, The Gambler, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run…”

 Is your life like a poker game?  You are dealt certain cards, right?  But what you do with them is your choice.  Which ones do you hold onto because they help you become a winner?  How do you decide which ones to risk letting go of?  How about your hopes of drawing some that are more favorable?  You do have to let go of some cards to increase the odds of having a better hand.  How do you play the cards you have in your hand?

 It strikes me the metaphor is limited because, in a poker game there’s a time to “call,” the hand is won or lost.  In life, it’s a continuous process of deciding what to let go of and what to hold onto.  Many of us have experienced times in our lives when we were “losing” and other times when we were “winning.”  We keep playing.  The game never ends, does it?

 What have you been holding onto that you should consider letting go of?  What are you going to keep and build upon?

 I hope that, in this blog post, you may have found “an ace you can keep!”

 Happy Halloween!

 Peace, John

 

Raising Children….. 8/20/17

Some of us are still raising our children, and others have launched them.  Some have yet to begin, and still others may be in the process of re-launching.  A few may even be in the process of sending their child off to college and facing the “empty nest.”

Is leaving ever comfortable?  It’s a transition for sure.  Sometimes it’s a sad occasion; other times it’s joyous.  Many times, it’s a mixture of both.  Were you able to identify and accept the feelings you were/are experiencing as you let them go?

Another idea might be to look at this quote from the perspective of yourself as the child.  Were you comfortable when you left your parents?  Did you think at the time that your parents had done a good job?  Were they good “life-skills” teachers?  How difficult was it for you to fly on your own?

And remember… “they are not ours to keep.”  They were “lent” to us. They belong to the world – may we be blessed by their journeys!

Peace, John

 

Negative sinking 10/27/13

 “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you!” ~ Goi Nasu [special thanks to Harriet who contributed this quote]

A friend has as her email signature a quote that says “If you knew how powerful your thoughts were, you would NEVER have a negative thought again!”

I think this quote is about boundaries. Just because someone says something, do we have to take it in?  I tell some of my clients to imagine themselves wearing a full length Teflon coat. When someone throws something at them that is negative, let it hit the coat and slide off.  “It’s not yours,” I tell them, “so why let it in where it can implode and destroy you from within?”  Time to keep it at a distance and “consider the source.”  “Who goes there, friend or foe?”  If it’s friend or a positive thought, let it in. If it’s not, keep it out.

Harriet indicated, if she is positive and sees what’s good, it keeps her full of happiness and hope. “There’s no time to be negative,” she adds.

How much seawater (negativity) have you been swallowing? What are you going to do about it?