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working on ourselves.”
What makes it hard? Is it because we have to take the focus off of others and do an “eyeballs inward” for a change? Is it because we don’t like what we see when we look at ourself? It’s not shaping up fast enough? Are we afraid we might change something and then decide we didn’t want to lose that piece of ourselves? Did you know you can see positive results sooner by working on yourself than by trying to change others? You are a wonderful living sculpture and deserve all the benefits from developing yourself! Remember, you are a miracle in progress. You may not feel like one after you’ve chipped away at yourself a bit, but you can shape yourself into who you want to be. Pay attention to your shaping. Sculpt away toward the you, you wanna be. Peace, John
Please send me some feedback on this blog. What did you like about it? What didn’t you like? What topics would you like to hear my thoughts on? You may also send me an email and a quote that you might like to see me write about on my blog. You can email your comments to me at jpacheco@personalgrowthconcepts.com Please put the word “blog” in the subject line. I thank you in advance and wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
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What do you say “one day…” to? It’s definitely forward thinking but do you ever set a definite goal? Timeframe? Or is it just “pie-in-the-sky” thinking? Wishful thinking? No decision!
Try “day one.” How many days might it take? Probably not as many as “one day” led you to believe. Day one = get started now.
Anthony Robbins, the great motivational speaker, suggests doing something every single day toward reaching a goal that you have set. Working toward it keeps it in your mindset and allows you to make connections and take little steps. Over time those little steps accumulate and you would be surprised the distance you can cover in a week or two. Try it. Day One. You decide.
Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
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, 
This quote has been attributed to many different people including Lord Thomas Dewar, the distiller!
If you ever decide you want to go skydiving, remember to take your parachute! If it’s your first time, make sure you’re prepared, studied what you need to, talked with others with experience, familiarized yourself with the entire process. Make sure your parachute is securely attached and the ripcord is handy.
If you ever decide to explore the vast realm of new ideas, make sure you’re prepared, that you understand the process. Make sure before you step out of the plane that you’re secure in what you do know and believe. Know, with what you’ve gained in being open-minded, how you’re going to return to your different “terra firma.” Plan on enjoying the journey, the experience. As mentioned in a previous blog (see PGC blog 9/16/14), know who has packed your parachute! Most importantly, remember to pull the ripcord at the appropriate time!
Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
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“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink….
BUT,
if the water is around, he might realize how thirsty he is!” ~ John
I’ve been saying this for years. It’s about trying to control others. Usually we want somebody else to do something and we get frustrated trying to get them to do it. People may do “it” for a variety of reasons but frequently they turn passive-aggressive and there’s a price to pay. When they do what we want them to do, they don’t experience the freedom of choice to do it themselves, in their own time and in their unique way. Simply stop trying to force them to drink! Make sure the water is around and as you wait (patience) and see what happens, get on with your own life. Control yourself. Take care and nurture yourself. When you are thirsty, drink. You may not realize it but, as you get healthier, you are setting a good role model. If they decide they are thirsty, then they won’t have far to look to figure out how to go about drinking. If they are in denial about their thirstiness, then you will be well hydrated and healthy! Stay that way. Whether they win or lose, you win. “Them’s good odds.”
Peace, John
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Too many people do this and I don’t understand why. Happiness is an inside job. Abraham Lincoln allegedly once said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
When you put the key to your happiness in somebody else’s pocket you become dependent on them. They become your jailer and decide your comings and goings in the world of happiness. What did you do to be sentenced this way?
Just because someone wants to be your jailer, doesn’t mean you need to surrender and be held hostage by their whims.
Today, who holds the key to your happiness? If someone else, how does it feel to be in the second car of their roller coaster? Sounds like it’s time to bail out and, as Lincoln said, make up your mind….
Peace, John
In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on Twitter (@PGCCounseling)
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I know, I know, “‘Tis the season….” But I also know, ‘tis the season when many dysfunctional families get together. One of the ways dysfunction is maintained in families is to control information. Just because you’re asked, doesn’t mean you “need to” or “should” share! Whether you share or not is up to you. Ask yourself first, is this person safe or has this person used information against me that I’ve shared in the past? Be ready (as in think ahead) to be put on the spot, asked inappropriate questions, in front of others and/or confronted with misinformation that you could be tempted to correct. Plan how much, if anything, you want to share in that situation or with that person or persons. Use “I….” statements, especially “I choose…” ones. Remember “No” is a complete sentence. Stick to your boundaries.
Remember, they may believe they are entitled to know more about something than you are willing to share. Just because they believe that, doesn’t mean it has to be true for you. You decide – after all it’s what’s in your best interests. Think long run as well as short run.
Wouldn’t this be a wonderful Christmas present to give yourself this year? The price is right….. and you are worth it!
Have a Merry and Blessed Christmas,
Peace, John
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Or, as Kenny Rogers sings in his hit song, The Gambler, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run…”
Is your life like a poker game? You are dealt certain cards, right? But what you do with them is your choice. Which ones do you hold onto because they help you become a winner? How do you decide which ones to risk letting go of? How about your hopes of drawing some that are more favorable? You do have to let go of some cards to increase the odds of having a better hand. How do you play the cards you have in your hand?
It strikes me the metaphor is limited because, in a poker game there’s a time to “call,” the hand is won or lost. In life, it’s a continuous process of deciding what to let go of and what to hold onto. Many of us have experienced times in our lives when we were “losing” and other times when we were “winning.” We keep playing. The game never ends, does it?
What have you been holding onto that you should consider letting go of? What are you going to keep and build upon?
I hope that, in this blog post, you may have found “an ace you can keep!”
Happy Halloween!
Peace, John
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A little different approach today – I’d like to invite you first to spend a few minutes thinking about different activities and organizations that you’re connected to. Think of work, home, family, leisure activities, hobbies, volunteer groups, classes, etc. Think about your relationships with those organizations and the depth of your involvement or commitment to each of them.
Some you may be more involved with or committed to than others There is no right way to be connected to them. What determines the difference in your level of commitment? The simple answer is you do! Frequently it’s helpful review and to know your priorities. Knowing can help you decide how much of your time, energies and resources you want to involve.
Now to the quote:
Peace, John
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This quote, allegedly from Mark Twain, opens us up to a new way of thinking about our life experiences. As a baby we come into the world with very little experience. As we begin to interact with the world, crying when we’re hungry for example, we begin to develop a database of experience. If crying gets us fed and that happened several times, then a habit begins to form. The first time we tried to walk we didn’t just stand up and walk. We learned to pull ourselves up by hanging on and tugging – we persisted despite having fallen down several times and the same thing with taking a step and walking. Many of our decisions back then worked for us.
What about now? We have a larger database to work from and yet often different challenges arise, ones we haven’t experienced before. Our mind is phenomenal; it lets us generalize from one situation to other similar situations and we call upon that information, as well as what we’ve read and heard about along the way. If we are open to learning, the more experiences we have had the more data to draw upon. We are still going to make decisions that don’t work out the way we had hoped. Most of us learn. Are we open to learning or we will continue to make decisions that don’t work out for us?
I’ve been told there’s only one poor decision we can ever make: the decision that didn’t work out the way we had intended and from which we have failed to learn! That would constitute a bad decision, according to our quote, and that should definitely be added to our experience database.
Remember, not to decide is also a decision! That also adds to our experience.
What decisions are you facing today? Are you willing to risk adding information to your database to succeed, now or down the line?
May each of you have a Thanksgiving filled with blessings! During the upcoming holidays I ask you to pray for world peace.
Peace, John
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“How can you make a good choice, if you only look at one alternative?” ~ John Pacheco
Making choices is self empowering! Actually “one alternative” is an oxymoron! What I meant is that most people either don’t choose because they are unaware, or they don’t take the time to name their choices. Other people decide between only two choices. The first two steps in a healthy decision-making process include defining the problem and generating possible solutions, usually by a process called “brainstorming.” Experts in creativity tell us that when we brainstorm, the most creative options are found in the last 10% of ideas that we generate. That means we need multiple options. The more we have to pick from, the greater likelihood of making a healthier choice for our selves. This week, why not see if you can become aware of at least four or five options for any significant decision that you make? Let me know how this works out for you. Peace, John
Sidebar: We now have more than 100 blog posts since we started it over two years ago! Thank you for following us and, please urge your friends to follow us as well! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
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There are really only two ways to approach life – as victim or as gallant fighter – and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don’t decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you. –Merle Shain
I’ve learned to be wary of the black and white thinking espoused in the first phrase of this quote. There usually are more than two choices! That having been said, the quote still has merit when it comes to you thinking about how to move your life along in a direction that you intend. You can sit still and life will happen to you or you can be that “gallant fighter” and deal with life on your terms. You can react to whatever life throws your way or, you can think about it and respond, “act” in a responsible way. You also get to choose when to respond. No reaction and no response nets you being a victim again as life is pulling you along. How much control do you want over your own life? Do you want to deal your own cards or do you just want to react to what you have been dealt? Reacting leaves you connected to that which just happened – it’s highly emotional, often dramatic and inefficient. I think my chances are better if I’m dealing my own cards; someone else’s stacked deck is their deck!
TOUCHPOINTS, from Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. 