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therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. (Matthew 7:24-26)

To me this verse means a lot. I believe it could be one of the most important if not most necessary lessons from God since it encompasses so much.

At the very root of it, a foundation in God is like a foundation on rock. God wants to be our rock but we are the builders and we must ultimately choose where we build our house. To build a home in God allows us to remain unshaken in any storm. To have a loving relationship with God does not mean we will not encounter storms, but it means that we will find strength through him to endure the storm.

I see foundational pieces in life as the values you choose to live by, the steps you take in building your life and the relationships you have. Love, honesty, integrity, courage are amongst the many values I see as important in any solid foundation. Like a tree, all life stems from the roots, a tree cannot become beautiful or withstand wind without a solid foundation of roots. If in life we build a solid foundation in God, in ourselves, and with others we can weather any storm.

Léa

Our guest blogger today is Lea M, someone who has been following our blog for several years and whom I do not know personally. At the end of January she sent me an e-mail wondering if I might ever share her favorite Bible verse in a blog post. I invited her to share her thoughts on the verse and why it was her favorite as I said, “I’m sure your love of that quote will generate a much richer interpretation than I could humbly offer.”  …. and she did! I am pleased to share it here with you and hope you build and strengthen your foundation to weather any and all storms. Thank you, Lea for sharing this verse and your thoughts about it with us. Blessings and Peace, John

After monkey bars in my last blog post, it’s time for the memory of another childhood game: “May I take 5 giant steps forward?” “No, you may not!” “May I take one baby step forward?”  “Yes, you may.” Remember it? There were several steps in the game and the object was to move ahead, to get to the goal first. While we may hope that one giant step will put the goal in our grasp, it doesn’t usually work that way.  Most of you know that it’s been said, “The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.” So, when you figure out where are you want to go, point your self in that direction and take a step. It’s important you take another one and then follow that with another one. That’s the way you build momentum and eventually get to where you want. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Hoping you enjoy your journey. Peace, John

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This blog post may not apply to everyone but abuse is an equal opportunity occurrence.  Most people think of abuse as physical abuse: hitting, slapping, punching, beating etc. It goes much beyond that and can include economic/financial abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and intellectual abuse.  All abuse is about power and control issues and is usually perpetuated by those who are insecure.  Think about it: it’s frequently a mask for underlying insecurity. 

The abuse frequently creates a pattern, usually increasing in frequency and severity over time. The first task in recovery is to separate from the abuse.  Abuse wreaks havoc on the victim’s self-worth and self-esteem.  Once separated, the person’s sense of self and ability to protect one’s self and trust needs to recover.  Recovery can be hard work.  There are no shortcuts.  Learning to redefine yourself, set and enforce boundaries and build trust can be challenging but also rewarding.  Not to work on recovering, will leave you vulnerable to future situations of abuse.  You want to be able to say, “I WAS a victim.”  Recovery is possible.  Peace, John 

In addition to following me on Facebook and Twitter, you can also follow Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. on Facebook (@PersonalGrowthConceptsInc) and on Twitter (@PGCCounseling) 

A relationship without wifi

I’ll say it again, my formula for trust is: “Trust = consistency over time.”  Think on that!  To build trust both persons have to be consistent in their communication, honesty and behaviors.  Trust, once broken, if heal-able, takes a long time.  It’s usually easier to be honest and deal with the negative consequences up front than it is to lie and breach the trust.  Consistency and time are the key ingredients in healing.  Playing games with a cell phone with no service, like  a relationship without trust, doesn’t get you anything.  You can’t communicate with a cell phone with no service, and, you can’t build a healthy relationship with no trust.  Playing games in a relationship makes matters even worse! 

Peace, John

I invite you to become a guest blogger.  It’s easy: find a quote that speaks to you and write a few sentences about it and what it means to you, or what it means in general. Send it all to me in an email with subject line reading “Guest blogger.”  I will review and publish it, with gratitude, and with the hope that others will benefit from it as well.  If you need some help, I can furnish you with a quote or several to pick from – I have hundreds of them. Let me know.   Peace,  John

 

Image result for “Trying new things will make you uncomfortable. Do it anyway!”

Sounds like part of a quote from Mother Teresa, doesn’t it?  Doing things differently whether it’s trying a new food or starting a healthy habit puts you out of your comfort zone.  I guess the question is, “Do you really want to stay safe and comfortable?”  Do you think you might eventually get bored if things are “too” status quo?  This might be a good position for someone who has had a turbulent, dramatic type of life.  It may be uncomfortable for them at first, the absence of the drama, but they might get used to it.  They may even need to resist the urge to create drama so that they can experience familiar feelings.

The rest of us could ask, “How much uncomfortability is tolerable?”  We can push ourselves to the edge of what’s comfortable, and then a little more.  This will help us grow slowly and at a pace that we can adapt to.  When you change, start small, persist and build some momentum.  Remember, “Yard by yard it’s hard, but, inch by inch it’s a cinch!”

Peace, John

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to share it with your friends on social media.

 

Image result for “Every time I have to set a boundary, it stresses me out. But I do it for the same reason I’ve been building blanket forts since I was a little kid. To create a safe place for myself. ~ Nanea Hoffman

Ah!  Remember those blanket forts?  I used to make one in my bedroom with an old Indian blanket that was ideal.  I would drape it between my brother’s bed and mine, anchor it on the beds with telephone books and heavy objects.  I would then get my flashlight, my little transistor radio, my comic books and go hide away.  It was fun back then.  Creating safe places for me to be me and not who others want me to be or, think I should be, is a different story today.

Setting boundaries, drawing lines, distinguishing what’s my stuff and what’s not my stuff is challenging and it’s only the first step.  As a former client informed me many years ago, “John, once you set up a boundary, then you gotta do sentry duty!”  She was right; you have to be prepared to defend or enforce your boundary by taking assertive behavior.  You have to protect your safe space.  If you don’t, the chaos that ensues _________ [fill in the blank.]

A fort is a boundary – it separates and protects.  Build yours strong, reinforce it with assertiveness and consequences.  Enjoy the liberty it provides.  You deserve it!

Have a happy & safe 4th of July!

Peace, John

 

Image result for “Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” ~ Rumi

Or, as Kenny Rogers sings in his hit song, The Gambler, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run…”

 Is your life like a poker game?  You are dealt certain cards, right?  But what you do with them is your choice.  Which ones do you hold onto because they help you become a winner?  How do you decide which ones to risk letting go of?  How about your hopes of drawing some that are more favorable?  You do have to let go of some cards to increase the odds of having a better hand.  How do you play the cards you have in your hand?

 It strikes me the metaphor is limited because, in a poker game there’s a time to “call,” the hand is won or lost.  In life, it’s a continuous process of deciding what to let go of and what to hold onto.  Many of us have experienced times in our lives when we were “losing” and other times when we were “winning.”  We keep playing.  The game never ends, does it?

 What have you been holding onto that you should consider letting go of?  What are you going to keep and build upon?

 I hope that, in this blog post, you may have found “an ace you can keep!”

 Happy Halloween!

 Peace, John

 

“Successful relationships are built upon the foundation of bringing committed love to the table every day, communicating your feelings, receiving your partner’s feelings and setting healthy boundaries to maintain a sense of independence within the relationship. This allows for love to be given and received, proper adjustments to be made if the line of communication gets fuzzy and still gives each of you the freedom to be yourself and bring forth your unique creative expression. This combination will manifest the strongest and healthiest relationships in your life. And remember, the purpose of relationships is to be happy, to learn and to CO-create a life together.”

 ~ Jackson Kiddard

What a simple formula? You build relationships upon a foundation, i.e. the beginning of the relationship. It’s a table of give-and-take built around sharing and hearing each other’s feelings while respecting your individual differences. This allows for the giving and taking and for changes when the communication received is not the same as that which was sent, i.e. “fuzzy.” You get to stay who you are and respect the other person’s individuality – and it’s happening in reverse too! Your goal is to be happier, to grow and to create that third entity, a “togetherness.” The togetherness is not at the expense of either individual. The togetherness adds value to each person’s individuality and creates a third entity, “us” that can also be unique, accepted, and grow.  “Co-create” – what a concept! Happy co-creating!

Today we welcome 16 new members to our blog. They are people I have known and cared about in the past and the years have seen us drift although the memories of time shared are positive and long-lasting. In cleaning up some old email addresses, I decided to add these people to my blog list. If you received this and are not interested in getting weekly positive quotes along with some of my insights, please feel free to unsubscribe yourself. If you received it and are happy to hear from me again and, if you benefit from it, please feel free to pass it on. Peace, John

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