Attitude is Everything……4/2/23

Today’s blog is a little long, but the story is definitely worth taking the time to read. I’m grateful to Francie for having written it. It’s a handout I’ve used frequently in my practice to make a point.  After you read it, can you tell me what the point is? Peace, John

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.

……..by Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”  He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested. “Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

          I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

           Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

 “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man. ” I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

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What Are You Thinking? ……5/6/18

This is the same idea contained in the book, The Secret.  What thoughts you put out into the world hookup with kindred spirits and come back to you.  To paraphrase another quote, “As a man [or woman] thinketh, so shall he [or she] become.”

If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, you don’t change the mirror do you?  I suppose you might break the mirror but that doesn’t change what stands in front of the cracked and broken glass now, does it?  If you want to change what you see in the mirror, you need to change something about yourself.  In this instance it has to do with your thoughts.  If you are putting negative, self-critical, judgmental thoughts into the mirror, that’s what you’re going to see reflected back.  If you don’t want to see or hear the reflected negativity, make more positive messages. [think soil, not dirt!]

Think of it this way: I stand in front of the mirror and say out loud, “You’re a lousy person. You’re never going to amount to a hill of beans.  You’re worthless.”  That’s what comes back at me.  Isn’t it bad enough that others will give you those messages?  Do you need the double trouble of giving them to yourself and hearing them come back at you?  End result: low self-esteem, low self-worth.

Now, suppose you stand in front of the mirror and say out loud, “You’re a good person and have a good conscience.  You are important to me and I can’t wait to see how far you will go.”  What comes back?

The choice is yours.  You gotta put it out to get it reflected back.  At the same time you polish up that mirror, polish up those thoughts you think into it.

Peace, John

Praying…. 11/6/2016

I used to think that I wanted to pray like a fella in my prayer group. When I shared that with him, he set me straight. He told me that my “talk time” with God was not supposed to be like his.  He then told me whatever I had to offer to God in prayer was 100% acceptable to God.  It took a long time of thinking about that and coming to believe it.

Sometime later I spoke with a trusted spiritual guide.  I shared with her that I felt guilty for not taking the time to pray the way I thought I should. She asked what I meant and I told her that I had good intentions of setting aside time but then I got caught up in the things of the day, my work and didn’t get to it.  I did tell her that I prayed in church and sometimes with certain clients.  She asked me if I had conscious awareness of God throughout my day. I told her yes, that often I think of Him in the “inter-stitches” during the day, times between activities, times when I’m in my car, and times when I’m in transitions. She simply said to me, “That’s prayer!” I was taken aback, but as I reflected on it, I realized she was right. She also told me not to worry about the structure and the amount of time. She also asked how God communicates with me. I told her in different ways – sometimes an idea in my head (“aha”), sometimes something from my reading, sometimes in a song or the words of another person, sometimes in what I see and, at times, just a sensation in my heart.  She also pronounced this as fine and told me I was on the right track.  I was relieved, but it still took me a while to work this through and to let some of the guilt dissipate for not doing it “the right way.”

“The power is in the One who hears it.”  The receiver has all the power. He is a better listener than I!  He hears and knows everything, even my weak and sometimes infrequent attempts to communicate with Him.  He loves me just as I am, with all my shortcomings, blemishes and character defects – I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one!  He doesn’t judge – He just loves me for who I am.

Be mindful of God’s presence in your life and you are already praying.  Your prayers are not wasted.  Be humble, contrite, thankful and ask on behalf of your self, and others. When in doubt, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Pray anyway!”