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“Gaslighting is a form of abuse – someone tries to tell you something didn’t happen when it did, or when a person tries to talk you out of something that actually happened. They deny reality in order to make you feel crazy, or as if you made it all up. Abusers use this tactic on their victims to escape accountability of their own actions.”
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. “Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.” ~ [definition taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline website].
Gaslighting is one form of domestic violence.
I hadn’t known the term “gaslighting” until a year or two ago when an emotionally and verbally abused client taught it to me. I googled it and read about it. I was surprised that other clients had shared their experiences of it with me, but not the term. Someone attempts to alter your recollection of something that happened in an effort to get you questioning your memory and/or sanity. If they get you spinning around in circles and confusion, they believe you’ll never be able to hold them accountable for what they said or did. If this persists over time it can wear you down, causing you to doubt yourself and, in the extreme, to have a nervous breakdown.
If you are being physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally abused, reach out and get some help for yourself. In Connecticut, from a safe place, you can call 211, Infoline, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Also, in Connecticut, if you are not in a safe place, you can text 911. Don’t hang up and the police will locate you.
Peace, John
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What is PTSD?
PTSD is not a mental illness.
PTSD is a reaction to society’s illness!
PTSD is not about what is wrong with someone!
PTSD is about what happened to someone!
PTSD is very often inflicted with intent!
PTSD is resistance to the evil in the world!
PTSD is a painful reaction and protective measure of mind, body and soul!
The “D” in PTSD is certainly symbolic of the state of the world we live in and the reaction good people have to it!
The PTSD reaction is most always the result of a Human Rights violation.
PTSD is an injury that can be healed!
The above quote, with a couple of small edits, is from Pinterest and reflects a recent small upsurge in clients we are serving who have post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD. Several of them are domestic violence and childhood sexual abuse survivors. I’m hoping this quote will give my blog readers a different way of looking at people who may be emotionally distant, easily startled, unwelcoming of hugs and who have a lot of difficulty being close and trusting. It’s usually less about them and more about what has happened to them. They need support, listening, nurturing, acceptance and love, even though they often resist it. Be patient — the healing takes time and may need professional assistance. I’m also hoping this will give survivors some validation for their struggle, help in reducing some of the guilt and hope in their process of healing. For them, and for those who love them, I am also including the Survivor’s Psalm (below). Please feel free to share this or any of my blog posts. Peace, John
TOUCHPOINTS, from Personal Growth Concepts, Inc. 