Changing Your Life…… 4/17/22

Are you like me?  Most of the times I want to take the easy way out.  Do you even remember the times when you had to physically get up, walk a few steps and change the dial or push the buttons to get what you wanted?  Some of you may be young enough that you’ve only known remotes!  If you don’t like what’s going on, waiting for it to change or hoping someone else will change it is NOT a good strategy.  You may not like how the other person changes it or what it involves.  Why not figure out what you want and take some action and go get it?  Get off the couch (out of your comfort zone) and take some action to change yourself or some of your life circumstances so that you can be more content.  You deserve it!  Peace, John 

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Guest Blogger: What Matters?……5/20/20

How hard it is to let go of a relationship, activity, job, anything we have put our energy and time into, when we come to the realization it is not meant for us?

As a counselor I see many people at that crossroads of giving up something or someone not meant for them.

Being true to ourselves is what energizes and propels us forward.

Putting ourselves first is not selfish; it is a fundamental instinct for survival.  It is a desire to be balanced, mentally, physically, emotionally.

Taking a moment to pause, a few deep breaths, to relax your mind, feelings and body is a helpful way to get yourself grounded before responding. You allow yourself time for your mind, body and emotions to coordinate themselves.

Then you can be the best of who you are.

Carrie Lee Henderson, MSW, LCSW.

Thank you to today’s guest blogger, our former employee, now retired, Carrie Lee. We appreciate you continuing to share your wisdom with us and your gentle way of putting it.  I hope our readers can put your wisdom to good use.  Peace, John

 

Gaslighting….10/27/19

“Gaslighting is a form of abuse –  someone tries to tell you something didn’t happen when it did, or when a person tries to talk you out of something that actually happened.  They deny reality in order to make you feel crazy, or as if you made it all up.  Abusers use this tactic on their victims to escape accountability of their own actions.”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.  “Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.” ~ [definition taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline website].

Gaslighting is one form of domestic violence.

I hadn’t known the term “gaslighting” until a year or two ago when an emotionally and verbally abused client taught it to me.  I googled it and read about it.  I was surprised that other clients had shared their experiences of it with me, but not the term.  Someone attempts to alter your recollection of something that happened in an effort to get you questioning your memory and/or sanity.  If they get you spinning around in circles and confusion, they believe you’ll never be able to hold them accountable for what they said or did.  If this persists over time it can wear you down, causing you to doubt yourself and, in the extreme, to have a nervous breakdown.

If you are being physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally abused, reach out and get some help for yourself.  In Connecticut, from a safe place, you can call 211, Infoline, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.  Also, in Connecticut, if you are not in a safe place, you can text 911.  Don’t hang up and the police will locate you.

Peace, John